Mail Call: "I'm leaving for BMT in 3 days and starting to doubt it"

“Honor: what right do I have not to serve while others bleed and sweat for their country? Difficult: nothing good ever came easy.”

Coach's answer

I really dig this comment. For some perspective, I wondered this even while being in the military for 2+ decades: what right do I have to wear the uniform when others have given their life for their country?

The crazy thing about a military contract, or for those that make a career out of it, is that you will be required to sacrifice, and that sacrifice can look a lot different at different points in your career. It can be sacrifice from your family, it can be physical and mental sacrifice, and it can be the ultimate sacrifice.

One of the wonderful things about our country is that every one of us has the right to not serve in the military, and I respect that. For more context: less than 1% of our country actively serves in the military at this very moment, which is pretty crazy. Good on you for thinking about deep questions like this. What brought you to this video?

How to deal with forgetfulness and sensitivity at basic training

“Before everyone tells me to not join, this is all I've ever wanted but I have my concerns... I'm very forgetful and take things very personal which is probably the worst combination going into basic.”

Coach's answer

This is the tough part about Reddit... this is not the place for motivational responses. So first off, I'm sorry things didn't shake out with the Marines. But good on you for getting after it and finding a new option.

The good: it's called basic training for a reason. It's basic. It's a system that works for around 200,000 people every year across all the branches. Don't worry about being forgetful. Find your routine and work hard.

The bad: you are going to get yelled at. It'll pass. And you will take things personal... it's impossible not to. But that's the whole fricken point.

The most important: this one's huge. Everybody, no matter what they say, is worried or even scared before basic and while they're there. You might take things personal and you might forget things, but you have no idea how much graduating basic will help you for the rest of your life. Someday you'll be going through something tough, in the military or out, and you'll think "basic was 10 times harder than this. I got this."

Good luck to ya!

“A new life. A new chapter. I don't care what branch.”

Coach's answer

Once upon a time, I was right there with ya. My unsolicited advice: talk to at least two different branches. Take the time to compare. If you have concerns / worries, reach out! 🇺🇸👊

Leaving soon for BMT

“I'm leaving in 3 days for BMT and I'm starting to feel it, like the sadness and anxiety of leaving... I'm even starting to doubt joining in general and leaving people behind, including my gf and grandma.”

Coach's answer

Four days out and you're feeling all of it. Good. That means you're human. You are about to go through one of the toughest things you've ever gone through in your life.

The good: every single person who has ever shipped felt some version of this. The ones who pretended they didn't were lying or psychopaths.

The bad: the doubt isn't a signal to quit. It's a signal that this is real and you know it. There's a difference.

The most important: spend these four days present. Put the phone down. Get off Reddit. Be with the people you're worried about leaving. That's what you'll want to remember when it's week 2 (and you feel like it's week 8). You already made the hard decision. Now just show up. Remember, "1 meal at a time. 1 day at a time." It'll make sense when you get there.

Good luck to ya.